


This is me trying

by PaininiBread



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bang Chan & Seo Changbin are Best Friends, Bang Chan is Bad at Feelings, Everyone Has Issues, Han Jisung | Han & Hwang Hyunjin are Best Friends, Hwang Hyunjin Being an Asshole, Hwang Hyunjin is a Mess, Hyunjin is hurt and pretends to be mean really, I really projected my own insecurities that's all, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Kim Seungmin & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, M/M, Minho is honestly the sweetest, Minor Character Death, Protective Minho, Sad Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Step-siblings, The parents are chef's kiss, They all have trauma and I am here for it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-28 23:21:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30147165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaininiBread/pseuds/PaininiBread
Summary: They told him it was going to be easy. Just stand there, smile back when they smile at you and let the nice old lady do all the talking. Not like they haven’t agreed to take him in, like the stray that he had become. But it did, in fact, turn out to be harder than it was supposed to be.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is like a very slow intro, enjoy? I think?

They told him it was going to be easy. Just stand there, smile back when they smile at you and let the nice old lady do all the talking. Not like they haven’t agreed to take him in, like the stray that he had become. But it did, in fact, turn out to be harder than it was supposed to be. 

Felix stood behind the woman, almost covering into himself as he waited. For what? He was not so sure himself. His fingers dug into the skin of his palms, short nails leaving small dents after themselves. The boy felt a shiver run down his back, shoulders trembling and eyes trained on the small cracks in the cement stairs. Footsteps could be heard inside the house, right behind the doors, and all he could feel was anxiety and the want to run away, to hide behind the big oak three he had seen right behind the corner in the neighbourhood. 

Suddenly, he felt like he was six again, holding onto his mother’s hand as he cried because he didn’t want to go to school. He had been frightened and could only hold onto any kind of comfort he could find. He was small and naive, everything looked bigger to him, frightened him more, made him want to hide behind his mother’s legs all the time. 

He could hear clear talking behind the doors before they were opened slightly, someone poking their head out to look at them. 

“Hello dear, I’m Park Yerin, we came a bit late, are your parents home?” Felix could hear a scoff and then a clear shout of Mom? before the person at the doors opened them wider, letting them come inside. 

His shoulder was squeezed by the old woman, she gave him a soft smile, but Felix could only feel anxiety eating him up, his eyebrows scrunched up and the corners of his lips falling as he finally stepped inside of the house. 

“Oh! Forgive us, we would have prepared more, but someone forgot to go to the store.” Felix tilted his head to the side a bit, finally managing to glance up, looking at the woman who was speaking. Sha was tall, probably the same height at him, slim and elegant, someone who demanded attention the moment she stepped into any room. The moment their eyes met, he could feel a pang going through his heart. There was such warmth behind that gaze, such gentleness, and it made Felix feel like he didn’t deserve it. Like he didn’t deserve to feel the care of another parent again, not after everything that had happened. 

A man, probably the father, stood right next to her. Head held up high, eyes sharp and enchanting, lips pulled into a charming smile, inviting anyone that looked at him in. Felix could see why everyone thought they were a perfect fit to take him in. The pair looked like such a warm and inviting couple, like they had no secrets to hide. It was almost like they radiated some kind of shine, drawing you in, capturing you and making you feel like you belong. 

Felix could feel his eyes becoming misty, nose itching and fingers twitching. They looked like the perfect couple, but they were not his parents. Not his mother with the softest hands and loving eyes. Not his father with the loudest laugh and the wrinkles behind his eyes whenever he smiled, whenever he looked at his family with so much care and adoration. A tear slipped down his cheek again, the boy quickly wiping it away, hoping that no one was watching him at that moment. 

He silently cursed himself as he was offered to sit on one of the couches in the living room, cursed himself for being this weak, for still crying after months. He just wanted to be strong enough before he was alone again, curled up in a bed with his face buried into a pillow, muffled cries and curled up fists, letting his pent up emotions out. 

Sentences were exchanged, but Felix could only stare at his own hands, laying limp in his lap, fingers twitching whenever he moved the slightest bit. “Yongbok?” He could feel eyes on him, gulping audibly before he lifted his head up, looking at Yerin for the first time after he stepped into the house. “Dear, could you introduce yourself to your new family?” He had to fight back the flinch at the word, skin tingling and fingers twitching again. 

“Hello, I’m Felix, thank you for taking me in.” He could only bow his head politely and pull his lips into a tight line, keeping his head up, but staring at the wall in front of himself, right behind the father of the family. “It’s great to have you with us Felix, we hope you’ll feel comfortable here. Would you like anything to drink?” The boy shook his head a little bit, trying to smile at the mother, but knowing that his lips only managed to pull up a grimace at best. 

“I’m sure you’re tired, why don’t you go and put your bags into your new room? While we finish up with some documents?” Felix wanted to raise his eyebrows in question, but simply nodded his head, standing up from the couch and then freezing in realization. “What’s wrong?” The father sounded concerned and the boy could feel his insides warming up. “I, um, I don’t know where the room is?” He could hear someone scoffing and another person chuckling, feeling his cheeks burning from embarrassment. “Jinie, show him to the room. And for god’s sake, help him with his bags, I brought you up to be better than this.” 

After a few seconds of just standing there, Felix could hear someone chuckling again and two of his bags being lifted up from the ground. “Are you coming or are you just going to stand here looking like a kicked puppy?” A loud Hyunjin! could be heard in the room and Felix hurried to take his third bag, almost laughing when he realized that it was the heaviest one. 

He could still hear talking in the living room as he tried to keep up with the other, Hyunjin? as they made their way up the stairs, taking a left and stopping in front of the doors. Felix stared at the other’s back for a few seconds, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and biting his bottom lip from the nerves piling up in his stomach. He could hear the other letting out a loud scoff and saw the way he had rolled his shoulders, back tensed as if he was uncomfortable because of the situation too. “Would you mind?”

Felix took a step back at the hostility in the other’s voice, a shiver running up his spine, making him shake his head out of his daze. He could feel his insides turning, knees trembling as his eyes met an unimpressed gaze looking back at him. “I can’t really open the doors with both of my hands occupied now, can I?” He almost let out a nervous bark of laughter at the sentence, hurrying over to turn the handle of the doors and push them open, gasping a bit as he was pushed to the side, staring as his bags were dropped without any care on the ground. “The bed by the window is mine.” Without any other words, the tall boy dropped onto the mentioned bed, closing his eyes as if the mere thought of seeing Felix in his room was exhausting him. 

He couldn’t help and stare at the other for a few moments, taking in his features, The plush lips, strong eyebrows, flawless complexion. The mole under one of his eyes. Felix had to admit, the boy was breathtaking, but his attitude towards him was upsetting. While he understood that it was hard to welcome a complete stranger into the house, it was not like he himself wanted for everything to end up like this. 

If it would have been up to him, if he only could, he would give everything up, not that he had much left, to have his father’s arm over his shoulders, his mother telling the two of them to stop being so loud as they watched another football match. Felix would give anything up to have just a little bit more time to spend with his family. 

“Are you always this much of a creep?” He flinched out of his daze, focusing back on the boy laying on the other bed, now propped up on his elbows, looking at him with one of his eyebrows raised up. His cheeks were burning again, the intensity of the other’s gaze making his stomach twist and turn, heart beating almost painfully against his ribcage. 

“Sorry.” He could barely rip his eyes away from the other. No matter how much of an asshole he seemed to be, the way his black hair was splayed over his pillow again made Felix’s breath hitch. With shaking fingers and teeth worrying his bottom lip, he managed to unzip his bag, taking out his folded up clothes, looking down at them with uncertainty. “Right side is free for you.” His head shot up again, Hyunjin not even looking at him, simply staring at the ceiling, one leg bent at the knee, the other relaxed and spread on the bed. It looked like he was drumming a beat with his fingers against the sheets on his bed, lips parted slightly. 

Unconsciously Felix covered into himself again, tugging at the sleeves of his sweater, feeling insecure about his own height, his fingers and the splatter of freckles decorating his cheeks and spilling over to his temples. He tried to ignore the other’s humming as he tried to fit the clothes he had into the right side of the closet. It was big and had a lot of space, but it seemed liked both him and Hyunjin had way too much clothes and he had to leave some of his in one of the luggages he had taken with him. 

His fingers unconsciously brushed against the soft material of one of the sweaters hung up, the yellow fuzz almost making him smile, reminding him of warm springs and loud laughter, long grass and fingers carding through his hair. “How about you don’t touch my things, yeah?” Felix jumped back at the voice, his back pressed up against the front of Hyunjin, shoulders tensing up in fear. A breath ghosted over the shell of his ear, a dark chuckle could be heard, fingers digging into his biceps as if Hyunjin was warning him silently too. 

“As long as you stay out of my business I’ll ignore you, Yongbok.” The boy flinched at the name, wetting his dry lips and letting out a few coughs. “Felix. My name’s Felix.” Another chuckle could be heard and his biceps were squeezed one more time before he was let go with another warning pat on his back. “It’s cute that you think that I care.” 

Felix could only turn his head to the side and watch as the other stepped away from him, not giving him even one glance before he left the room, the doors closing with a loud bang from his force. But he could also feel relief consuming him as he was finally left alone, shoulders falling and eyebrows straightening. 

Finally he had the opportunity to look around the room, taking in the posters on the walls, the photos of boys, probably Hyunjin’s friends, hung up. There was what looked like a professional camera placed carefully on one of the shelves, Felix’s fingers itching to take a look at it. But he simply shook his head and smiled at the memory of his friend taking pictures of him with his own professional camera. He should probably message Seungmin back to let him know that he was not murdered by the family that took him in. Yet. 

He could only wish that he didn’t end up in some weird cult and that the Hwang family was as sweet and nice as Yerin had told him that they were. From what little he knew, they had two adoptive sons already, and from Hyunjin’s features, it seemed like he was the biological son, having his father’s eyes and his mother’s lips, a perfect mix of the two adults, at least physically. 

Felix dropped down onto his new bed that was pushed against the wall, his eyes falling shut from exhaustion as he hummed silently. He could feel warmth entering his body, fingers playing with the sheets on the neatly made bed. After staying for a few months with his aunt he felt lucky enough to be able to lay in a comfortable bed without the fear of her stinging words. The constant reminder that his parents were now gone, that he was the only one who survived. That he should have died too. 

He could feel a single tears rolling down his cheek, disappearing into his splayed out hair. His fingers clutched the sheets as he could hear someone cracking the doors open. He was pretty sure it was Hyunjin and he didn’t have the energy to face him again. While he wanted to be understanding, he had enough pettiness in his small body to hold his ground against someone like him. 

“Felix? Are you awake?” His brows shot up in surprise. The voice was definitely not Hyunjin’s. The tone was softer, almost like he was a scared animal being talked to, as if the other didn’t want to scare him away even more. “I’m Minho, one of the sons. Want to join us for dinner?” Felix cracked one of his eyes open, lifting his head up to be able to glance at the other. He was met with a gaze so soft that his heart almost leaped out of his throat. Minho seemed to be made out of soft eyes and gentle smiles, features just as beautiful as Hyunjin’s, but also way less intimidating. 

As if to respond, Felix’s stomach grumbled, making the boy blush in embarrassment, eyes falling shut, waiting for Minho to laugh at him cruelly. But his ears were met with a soft chuckle, the bed he was laying on dipping under the sudden extra weight. “Come, let’s go eat dinner with everyone, dad won’t say it, but he’s been so excited to finally meet you. And I’m pretty sure mom made so much food that a small country could be fed.” The boy relaxed the slightest bit as Minho’s comforting voice filled his whole body. 

“Come on, up.” He could feel Minho tugging him up and off of the bed, steadying him as Felix stumbled a little bit, his knees still shaking from exhaustion. An arm was wrapped around his shoulders as the two of them stumbled out of the room, Felix’s heart slamming against his chest as they descended down the stairs, laughter could be heard from one of the rooms, Felix could guess it was the kitchen. 

“There you two are! We thought Minho was just going to keep you to himself.” Felix could hear humour behind the father’s voice, and he tried to crack a smile of his own. “Come on, don’t stand around! Sit.” The only free seat left was in between on Minho and another boy, with dark brown hair and beautiful eyes. It seemed like beauty ran in the family, even if it was adoptive sons. “Hope you like beef.” 

The boy looked at the mother, thanking her gently as a plate was placed in front of him, filled up with beef and stir fried vegetables, the aroma entering his nose, making him have to gulp down the excess saliva. It smelled divine and he almost groaned as the first bite of food entered his mouth. He could feel eyes on him, watching him as he chewed the beef, swallowing heavily as his anxiety picked up again. 

“It’s really good.” He could hear the father and mother sighing in relief at his approval, Minho letting out a soft giggle to his right. He lifted his head up and smiled at the parents again, trying to show his gratitude, but the moment his eyes met Hyunjin’s, his smile fell. The other was looking at him with a frown marring his features, eyes narrowed and brows furrowed, almost like he was angry with him. Felix could almost feel himself cover into the chair, unconsciously looking to the side, only to be met with the third son looking at him with a blank stare, sizing him up too. 

The few bites he had taken of the food sat heavily in his stomach, lips pursed in concentration and darting all around the room as he tried to calm himself down. He could feel someone shifting at his side, a hand gently patting his shoulder. “Felix is probably very tired, maybe he should wash up and go rest up.” The boy almost sighed in relief as Minho tried to save him again, relaxing as the hand on his shoulder felt comforting. “Are you sure you feel okay? Not hungry?” The boy shook his head and tried to avoid looking at Hyunjin as he looked at the only woman sitting at the table. “The food’s delicious, but I’m just very tired. Would it be okay to go and rest up?” He could feel Minho’s hand squeezing his shoulder again, comforting him in any way possible. “Of course sweetheart, anything you want.” Warmth enveloped Felix for a few seconds, not used to parental care after the three months of living with his aunt and her family. 

“Thank you. Goodnight.” Felix felt awkward as he stood up, all eyes on him as he made his way out of the room and hurried up the stairs, only to stop as he took his toothbrush out of his cosmetics bag. Hyunjin didn’t tell him where the bathroom was. The boy almost cursed at himself loudly as he peeked out of the room, only to have fingers ruffle through his hair, making his snap his head up, shoulders tensing up, only to relax as his eyes met Minho’s bright ones. 

“Hyunjin didn’t show you where the bathroom was, did he?” He was met with silence as he nodded his head. “He’s not a bad guy, he’s actually really sweet when you get to know him.” Felix gave him a calculating look, cocking one of his eyebrows up in wonder. “I’m sure he is.” Minho laughed at that good naturely, shoulders shaking and eyes curling up into half moons. “Give him a chance, we all have trauma we have to work through.” Felix looked at Minho, stunned as his hair was ruffled again, cheeks burning brightly. 

“How about that bathroom tour?” Felix gave the other an unimpressed look as he was lead ten steps before Minho gestured for him to step inside. “I didn’t say that the tour was going to be long.” The two of them staying in silence for a few seconds, Minho sighing again and giving Felix one last glance. “Don’t worry about Hyunjin and Chan, they’ll come around, one faster than the other. Just, please, be patient.” Felix could barely say okay before Minho gave him another smile and jogged down the hall, entering his own room, closing the doors behind him gently. 

Felix was left in the brightly lit bathroom, staring at his own reflection while he brushed his teeth. His eyes felt heavy as he could barely keep them open, the cool water against his skin not helping with waking him up more. He couldn’t even focus on his refection in the mirror as he put his toothbrush into his cosmetics bag, dragging himself back into the room, not bothering to change out of his clothes as he fell onto the bed near the wall. 

He could feel his shoulders start to shake, curling up into himself as he shifted to lay on his side, burrowing his face into the pillow provided for him. 

The boy muffled his cries as the first tears started soaking the pillow. After three months of hell he should feel relieved, but he could only feel more stress pressing against the back of his head, making him tremble.


	2. Chapter II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunjin's issues run deeper than just Felix being a new sibling, but Felix does not know that.

It was only the sixth day of him being in his new home, if he could call it home already, and Felix was sure that he had figured out the three boys enough to know how to act around them. 

Minho seemed the most approachable out of the three of them, always smiling at him and trying to make him feel as comfortable as possible. He had even offered for Felix to sleep in his room a few times when he had noticed the tension between the boy and Hyunjin. He had even offered to take him out and show him around the city, show him some of his favourite places, but Felix still felt like a stranger, still felt like he was not welcome enough. And it was not for the lack of trying from Minho, he was truly one of the sweetest people he had ever met. 

Chan, he was the biggest mystery to Felix out of the three boys. He didn’t spend much time inside of the house, and when he was home, he seemed to be keen on ignoring him for the most time. Felix had caught him staring for a little bit too long, but Chan would just simply raise one of his eyebrows up at him, or just shake his head and leave the room. But the boy preferred this over fake friendliness and sugary words that would only make him feel sick to his stomach. 

And while he could easily ignore Chan most of the times, Hyunjin was a different case. The two of them shared a room, had to be around each other long enough for Felix to realize that the other seemed to dislike everything he did, had a problem with the way he folded his clothes, made his bed, even with the way he would check his phone every few minutes for Seungmin’s messages. Felix had chosen to ignore the boy as best as he could, ignore the way Hyunjin’s shoulders would tense up when he moved a little bit too fast or the way his eyes would follow his movements, calculating and distrustful, almost like a wounded animal that was trying to protect oneself. 

Felix could easily recognize when someone was reliving through trauma, he could see it in the way Hyunjin would cover into himself as the two of them stayed in the same room, as far apart from each other as possible. A small part of him was curious, worried even, but he had promised to himself to always be cautious, to not trust another person, just because they looked fragile for a few moments. And it was not like Hyunjin seemed to want to look fragile, whenever he would catch Felix as much as looking at him for a little bit too long, he would be sure to snap at him. And every ounce of pity he had held for the taller boy would disappear, no matter how wounded he had looked before. 

The house was big enough for all of them to have enough space, Felix opting to either stay in his room, Hyunjin avoiding him as much as possible unless he was in the mood to argue with him, or he would go outside, into the backyard, to lay in the grass, watching the clouds pass by. Sometimes Minho would join him too, the two of them spending hours in silence, lost in their own thoughts, their fingers sometimes brushing against each other’s accidentally. A gentle smile would grace the older’s features as Felix would shy away from his touch, eyes melting into pools of warm chocolate as he would turn his head to the side, to take in the freckles splattered over his cheeks, eyelashes curled naturally, making his look like an angel in his eyes. 

But Minho never voiced his thoughts, stayed silent as he enjoyed Felix’s company. He could see the way the other guarded himself, arms wrapped around his torso tightly, still not trusting anyone, begging to be given space and time. And that was exactly what he did. 

Minho opted to show Felix that he was there and supportive, but never enough to suffocate him. It came in hair ruffling in the morning and a glass of fresh orange juice being pressed into the younger boy’s hands, giving him a gentle smile as he was graced with a gentle yet deep thank you. Soft nudges against Felix’s side when the mother of the family was trying to get his attention, and fiery glares at Hyunjin and Chan whenever they seemed to do something that would upset the boy even the slightest bit. 

It was not that he had grown attached to the new boy. While he had to admit that he was cute and seemed eager to fit in, no mater how bad he had tried to hide it, it was not why Minho had wanted to welcome him in. He knew how it felt to be rejected, to loose everything he had, and to have to work himself up just to loose everything again. The Hwangs were a blessing to him, a blessing to Chan, and Minho had wanted Felix to share in this blessing too. 

Felix had stayed in his new bed as Hyunjin had started getting ready for the day, having to go to school, grumbling about how the other was lucky to still have the week off because he had to adjust to the new house. He had tried to ignore the other’s intimidating eyes on him as he shifted in his bed, phone clutched in his hands tightly, pressed against his chest as he had been texting with Seungmin for the last hour. 

He almost let out a relieved sigh when the doors of the room where shut loudly, indicating that he was alone again, his shoulders relaxing as he finally sat up, right shoulder exposed because of the too big sleeping shirt. In his still sleep affected state, Felix dragged himself over to the wardrobe, not caring enough as he grabbed the first sweater he could reach, shivering as his bare feet carried him to the bathroom. 

The material of the sweater felt soft against his skin, almost making the boy smile to himself, fingers curled into the edges of the long sleeves. A calming scent of chamomiles reached his nose, tickling his senses, the corners of his lips lifting up into a ghost of a smile. It reminded him of his mother and how she would only drink herbal teas, refusing to take even one sip of coffee, or the carbonated drinks that Felix used to love so much. 

His hand barely made contact with the handle of the bathroom doors before they were swung open, a stunned Hyunjin standing in front of his, long hair falling into his eyes, making him look almost dreamy as he stared down at him slightly. Felix could only look back at him in surprise, his lips parting as his fingers curled tightly into the material of the sweater, wanting to bury himself into it, to disappear from Hyunjin’s sight. 

The two of them stood frozen for a few seconds, time passing by slowly, both holding their breaths, before Hyunjin’s eyes darted down, narrowing dangerously as he looked at Felix closely, lips curling into a frown, beautiful features tainted with dislike and sourness. 

Something close to fear was bubbling in the deepest parts of Felix’s stomach, turning and twisting, bottom lip worried between his front teeth, shoulders squared up as Hyunjin continued to shoot daggers at him through his eyes. The boy tried to step back, only to press himself into the wall behind him, conveniently trapping himself between Hyunjin and hard concrete. 

His breath hitched and heartbeat picked up as the other closed in on him, their faces only a few inches apart, Hyunjin having to lean down for them to be at the same level. Felix could feel fear licking at the corners of his heart as he tried to avoid the heated glare the other was sending him, lips almost brushing his right cheek as they moved past and settled just a few centimetres away from his ear. Warm puffs of air could be felt against his skin, and in any normal situation he would probably be flattered that someone as attractive as Hyunjin was this close to him, almost feeling him up, but this felt wrong. The boy hated him with every fibber of his being, couldn’t even stand being in the same room as Felix. This was not affection, this was intimidation. This was Hyunjin mocking him and showing him that he could easily control him. 

“You really like to test me, Yongbok.” Felix almost hissed back in response at the name, pressing himself back into the wall as best as he could, shivering as Hyunjin seemed to laugh at his discomfort. Long fingers brushed against the side of his neck mockingly, ghosting over his jaw and then tapping against his cheek gently, almost lovingly, but the boy knew better. Hyunjin was a cat playing with it’s prey, playing with him, finding entertainment in him covering into himself. “What did I say about you touching my things?” He could only cock his head to the side in confusion, Hyunjin fingers now gripping a little bit tighter as they moved down to his shoulder, pressing into his flesh even over the sweater. 

“Take it off.” His heart skipped a beat almost painfully, legs starting to shake as Hyunjin’s fingers tugged at the sweater he was wearing, almost like he was trying to tear it off of him. “What?” Felix’s voice came out in a stutter, unsure of what was happening, skin burning as inpatient hands tugged at the sweater. “Take my sweater off, right now.” 

He could only helplessly raise his arms up as Hyunjin yanked the material off of him, leaving him with his torso bare for the other. Eyes unconsciously scanned over the flesh, the small waist and barely showing ribs, sharp hipbones and small marks all over the other’s stomach, little cuts and lines that have healed over already. Felix’s lips parted in surprise as Hyunjin stepped away hurriedly, almost like he was burned, eyes hard and focused on the wall behind the boy, on the spot right above his head. “Minho might like you now, but he’ll get bored. Just because you’re pretty, doesn’t mean that everyone will like you.” 

Confusion clouded his brains as Hyunjin stormed back to their shared room, leaving him alone in the hallway, skin tingling and lips parted in surprise. 

Felix’s legs seemed to have thoughts of their own, as they carried him down the hallway, hair still messed up and teeth unbrushed, a shaking fist knocking against wooded doors weakly. His shoulders shook as he could barely hold himself up, a pair of surprised eyes meeting his sad ones, hands flying to his cheeks, to wipe at them, brushing against his freckles. The boy couldn't help and let his eyelids fall shut for a few moments as Minho whispered words of reassurance, gently pulling him inside of his room. 

That was how the two of them ended up curled up in the older’s bed, under warm blankets, Felix’s head on Minho’s chest, ear pressed against him to feel his heartbeat. Fingers stroked his hair, tugging at it softly, neither of them saying a word as they lost themselves in the silence, Felix basking in the affection he didn’t know he had missed so much and Minho providing comfort as best as he could. At some point he could feel his eyes falling shut again, only to be brought back to be alert as the doors of the room were opened again, Chan’s head peeking in, searching for Minho. 

“What’s he doing here?” Minho seemed to almost challenge the other, raising one of his eyebrows up in response as his fingers continued to play with Felix’s hair, petting at it and tugging at the ends gently while Chan continued to watch. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife, an emotion almost impossible to read passing through Chan’s face, his eyes unreadable as he continued to stare at the two of them, almost like he was waiting for someone to jump out and tell him that it was a prank. 

“Whatever. Hyunjin’s waiting for us downstairs.” It sounded almost like a warning, Minho rolling his eyes as he could feel Felix burying his face in his chest, hiding away from Chan’s piercing gaze. “I’ll be down in a bit, we still have enough time.” He was met with another mumbled whatever, doors being shut gently and silence enveloping them again. “Does he hate me too?” Felix’s voice came out so soft that Minho had to make sure he was not hallucinating. “No. Chan’s too much of a sweetheart to hate you. He just cares about Hyunjin a lot.” The freckled boy had to bite back a bitter more than he does about me, almost laughing at himself because why should he care about him? He was just another stray to the family. 

It was almost like Minho could read his mind, a gentle laugh escaping him as his fingers pressed into Felix’s sides gently. “Won’t Hyunjin hate you if you’ll hang with me?” His voice sounded so soft, so small, it almost made Minho pull him into an even tighter hug, still cautious over the boy’s half nude state. 

“He’s a big baby, might look intimidating, but give him time and he’ll be hanging off of you.” Felix found it hard to believe, but he simply nodded his head, wiggling as fingers ghosted over his sides, tickling him. 

Felix found it even harder to believe as he was sitting on a chair by the table, a plate in front of him, Minho sitting on his right and Hyunjin glaring at him from his spot in front of him. Chan seemed to be content with ignoring him, focusing on eating his breakfast while he scrolled through his phone, stopping at something only to start to type furiously. 

Hyunjin could feel his insides burning with rage as he watched Minho smile at the new boy. Deep down he knew that he was being irrational, but anger was consuming him and the seeds of distrust and betrayal that had been planted in his heart months ago had grown into a big tree, almost spilling out of him. He knew that he couldn’t go against his parents wishes to foster another child, but that didn’t mean that he had to like Felix. That he had to enjoy being around him. That he had to trust and welcome him in. 

The boy’s narrowed eyes watched the way Felix seemed to play with his food, Minho talking to him from time to time and Chan in his own world. Hyunjin swallowed down a bite of his own meal, biting down on his tongue as he continued to unconsciously count how many spoonfuls of the fried rice Felix took. 

He had to dig his fingers into his own thighs as the count stopped at six, his own stomach feeling too full from the few spoonfuls he had taken. A heaviness settled in the pits of his stomach, brows furrowed as he ripped his eyes away from Felix, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. 

He was not going to care about another new boy. Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear Hyunjin is not that much of an asshole, he had his reasons, he'll redeem himself. But on another note, I love Minlix.

**Author's Note:**

> A few things: english is not my first language, Hyunjin is a dick but he kinda has his reasons, you'll see about Chan, and I just love Minlix being cuddly so yeah. The story's gonna be a rollercoaster tho.


End file.
